What does it take to make a $700 1995 Pontiac Grand Am into one of the most wanted cars on the internet? Simply make the greatest Craigslist ad ever.
On Wednesday, Jalopnik posted what they claimed was “the best Craigslist car ad ever.” The ad, posted by Joe Strachila, was for a 1995 Pontiac Grand Am GT, a fairly run-of-the-mill used car. The ad, created by Joe’s lifelong friend Kyle Miller, was anything but ordinary.
I thought I had seen just about everything on the internet until I saw the ad’s headline, “1995 Pontiac Grand Am GT – AKA – JESUS TAP-DANCING CHRIST.” The splashy bright-yellow and blue ad claims, “Never in your life has a car made you so appealing to the opposite sex…EVERY PREVIOUS OWNER HAS HAD A BEARD. This was the car that broke Pontiac. When it came off the production line, each person in the company had a collective aneurysm from the visual masterpiece with which they had blessed humanity, and gave up entirely.”
Of course, the question I had was that if the car was so amazing, why was the owner selling it? The answer was that he wasn’t man enough to handle it. “I tried to be,” he laments.” “I grew my beard to unreasonable lengths, trimmed my fingernails with belt sander, ate nothing but lumber for 6 straight days and knocked a polar bear unconscious. The car chuckled at my failed attempt at manliness, and became so bloated with testosterone that it literally blew a head gasket. Oh right, you’re definitely going to have to fix that…”
I seriously doubt that any car, much less a car with a blown head gasket, could live up to the hype of this Craigslist ad. Still, I have to give the seller credit for creativity. He took a $700 1995 Pontiac Grand Am and turned it into an internet sensation, and now, he is flooded with offers for the car. Supposedly someone even offered $10,000 for the honor of owning “Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ.”
Only one person can get Joe’s 1995 Pontiac Grand Am, but if you’re looking for a car that will blow your mind even if you don’t have mind-blowing credit, Approved Loan Store can help! Fill out an auto loan application here, and keep up with the latest in auto news by liking Approved Loan Store on Facebook and following Approved Loan Store on Twitter.